For most of my life I have had an interesting relationship with fear. I thought that it was something to be overcome, banished and conquered. My overall goal was to get rid of it completely. I had always thought that one day somewhere in the future, I would get to a point where I would never have to experience it again. I would have finally found a way to rise above it completely. At this magical time, feeling fear would be something that was in the rear-view mirror of my life. It would be something that I used to feel in the past.
I would finally be free!
Well, needless to say - that never happened! As it turns out, human beings are hardwired to experience the emotion of fear. It is a core fundamental emotion that is designed to keep us safe and thoroughly engaged in the human experience. It is likely that if you are leading the kind of life where you put yourself out there and stretch yourself, you will find this emotion revealing itself from time to time.
Embracing Fear
The good news is that there are several powerful techniques for working with the emotion of fear that allow us to face it and transform it. When we use these techniques, the fear will either disappear completely or it will dissipate to point that it is not controlling us. The important things is not to push it down or try and run away from it.
How to work with fear to transform it?
Yes, it is possible to work with your fear. This is one powerful technique that I like to use for transforming and releasing fear when it arises. I like to close my eyes for this exercise:
- Take a moment to investigate the fear that has arisen.
- Take a few deep breaths to bring yourself into the present moment.
- As you breathe, notice where the feeling of fear is located in your body. You can see, feel or just sense it. Do what feels natural to you.
- When you know its location, acknowledge the fear and investigate its size, shape, colour, intensity and other characteristics that reveal themselves to you.
- Now that you are more familiar with its nature, get curious about how you can help it to dissolve.
- Ask yourself intuitively questions like..
- ‘is there any reason that I can see/feel/sense as to why I might want to keep this fear?’
- ‘what purpose does the fear serve?’
- ‘is there any reason why I am afraid to let go of this?’
- Notice what is being revealed to you.
- As you continue to breathe deeply, breathe into the fear and say, ‘I release this fear, I no longer need this fear, I allow it to dissolve’. Repeat this as a mantra as you continue to breathe.
- When you can feel/see/sense that the fear has been dissolved, continue to breathe new energy into that space. Feel this space in you where the fear was once held in the past. This space is now available for new vital energy.
- Continue to breathe deeply for a few more minutes.
- When you are ready, open your eyes and return to the room.
By using this technique, you will develop a more intimate relationship with the emotion of fear when it bubbles through to the surface. By embracing it (not running from it), you will transform it and this process of transformation will support you in living your best life.
The fear of public speaking
If there is one situation that will trigger the emotion of fear in most of us it’s a public speaking event. It is one of the most common phobias.
When this fear arises, an extremely powerful way to work with it (in addition to the method I have already outlined) is to also work with the unconscious mind. Let me explain why.
Overcoming the fear of public speaking
The unconscious mind is a collection of thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and past experiences. Our emotions such as fear first arise in the unconscious mind before we are aware of them consciously. Our unconscious mind stores all of our beliefs about ourselves, including our beliefs about our public speaking ability. We can work with the unconscious mind to clear any limiting beliefs that a person has about their public speaking ability. The unconscious mind will then be aligned to their goal of being a confident presenter and will support making this a reality in their external world.
The unconscious mind does not know the difference between what we ‘imagine vividly’ and reality. We can use specific techniques of mental rehearsal, using the language of the unconscious mind, to prime the mind for success.
I have refined a system of working with the unconscious mind, by working with my clients, that is simply and easy to learn but very powerful. I have compiled this into an online training package (with an accompanying MP3) that empowers you with everything that you need to know about how to most effectively work with your unconscious mind and conscious mind prior to any kind of speaking event, to prime your mind for top performance.
If you are interested in learning more about this method. You can find out more about it by clicking on this link: How To Speak In Public With Confidence
Working with fear to life your best life
As I live my best life I am continuously putting myself in situations that stretch me. Situations that push me out of my comfort zone, that challenge me to trust that all is as it should be and basically to walk my talk. Now when those situations arise I become a detective. What is this feeling of fear trying to tell me? How can I embrace it and work with it? I have found that this is one of the keys to living my best life.
I hope that it can be for you too.